Mixed feelings

yep..i'm here again.

It's like i will only think of this pity blog when i'm down or emo. I wonder what makes me feel sad in this moment apart from my poor class test n quiz results. In these few days, i found myself non-stop finding something no matter where am i and what i'm doing - targets, a friend, laughters n even myself. It's like i'm kinda lost n trying to adjust my life to the proper style.

What i noticed is that, there's sadness in that person's eyes. I try to figure it out but my mind is reminding me from not being over-concern. Yep, i know i cant do anything too. I think i should eliminate that person from my unconscious mind.=)

There's a movie i wished to watch since a long time- When in Rome . lol but i always don't have the time and chance to watch + can only watch at golden screen cinema=( . I think Yun En is more disappointed than i am. nvm we buy dvd n watch together bah!=D

Anyways, my driving test is around the corner but i'm not nervous actually.hehe. Just hope that i will pass it successfully although i know it's quite hard. I'm imagining my car sliding down from the hill.XD

Thoughts.

This week is the toughest week for me - insufficient sleep, tons of assignments, complicated feelings.. Everything is changing without notices n i'm totally not ready for that. Every night when i'm alone,

I used to think about what kind of stupid thing i had done these few days n i felt myself kinda foolish as well as silly.

I used to think the luck i'm having for the next day- whether it's as usual or bad.

I used to think about my future - am i able to find the right one to spend the rest of our lives.

I used to think that am i going to be a successful accountant/ auditor in the future - decide by how much money can i earned.

I used to check whether is he still there chatting using msn.

I used to think how great it is when i finish all of my assignments.

I used to check my daily horoscope to aware me from making mistakes the next day.

Here are just parts of my thoughts.lol.My brain can never stop thinking whenever i'm alone. That's not healthy i guess. just quite abnormal.=x

Empty heart

We broke up. I'm alone again. I saw tears in his eyes when we knew that we were going to leave each other. My heart was actually bleeding when he agreed with it. Hoping for a last hug or something else but he walked away without turning his back for a simple glance .n i told myself that finally i gave up n everything will still remain the same as the beginning. We were friends again.

Today was the second day we broke up. I cant really got used to it n i cant stop myself from looking at him far away. I knew it's abit stupid n dumb. erm..it will not last long i think. He will definitely leave us too. n maybe we will lost contact with each other in the future.

Anyway, at least i can concentrate more on my study. =]

but i miss him right now=(

leaving?

Accounting test for tomorrow=.= n i'm still here blogging.

Today was like everyone was telling me that they were leaving. n they, include someone that i really care of. em..actually i really hopes that he will not leave. but the thing is i don't want him to do sth that he don't like and said that it's all because of me. n actually it's not. Moreover, it's your future my dear..i cant stop u from deciding which road u wanted to choose.

quite sad right?not even 1 month, n we were hurting each other in this short period.

Anyway,let me revise for my accounting:

Duality concept refers to accountants see total assets equal to total equities. Total equities are refers to claimed on those assets by liabilities and owner equities....

confused

To be honest, i don't really know how long can i stand in this relationship. I'm already lost all my confidence n all i have to do is just make things not too complicated. Not to say that i'm afraid of rumors, i'm just wanted to try my very best before i give up. Everything is so different between u n me but i believed that that's not really a big problem. I always believed that everything will be okay when there is trust between us. but in fact, disappointment came again n again.

I'm just don't know what am i suppose to do when the one i supposed to trust or love made me felt so lost.

Anyway, i'm really happy when i received the drinks n choc. n it's from u!=))

Sad. My grandpa was in the hospital. and my grandma was crying all the way.

He fall down and knocked his head yesterday n was sent to the hospital by AMBULANCE.I'm so so shocked when i heard that.He was suffered from temporary memory loss when he woke up n what he said was awkward. He kept repeating what he had just said. n he was so weak.

For me,my grandpa was a very stern man. He was like someone who had the power to decide everything and most of his decision were right. He was someone who doesn't speak much and just listen to what other people thought n said. However, he was also a stubborn person too. He will do what he wanted to do although it was not suitable to his age. He likes to drive although he was quite old and he had many friends due to his friendliness. He was not a stingy person and likes social alot.

Because of that,i felt so sad when my first visit in the hospital. He looked so weak and i wished to hug him tightly. He was so sick.

Anyway, i knew that he will get well soon. He was a strong old man!=)

two is better than one?

I can't regret for what i've done and i knew that i've to take the responsibility of making that decision.but y am i keep asking myself whether am i doing the right thing or not? No doubt,everything has changed and has to be changed to suit the life of two of us.but is it the right choice to change?

You made me think a lot these few days.about my future,my family members,my relatives,my friends,my study,even my neighbours..and i'm forcing myself not to think more about those stuffs to avoid my brain from bursting.Honestly,i can't really afford all of these.

You are almost perfect to me actually,sometimes make me feel that i'm not your type or i'm totally not suitable to be your gal.You have special personalities that i think i can spend my whole life to figure out and ready to learn from u.n i promised that i will try my very best to be part of your life.
=)yea..i think that two is better than one.at least we can have someone to rely on,to think about,to share our secrets,to face challenges together,..

-hehe..yun en looked so suffered to take photo with kar wea-XD

I hate the weather of these few days! raining heavily this morning ,so hot in the afternoon, then raining heavily in the evening again=.=

n today was the first time that i missed the bus=(

Nothing special happened today except for that 'exciting' breaktime.We were having lunch at streetcafe after class and something happened there.My friend looked so upset and so sorry that i cant help anything just because i dont know what am i suppose to do in that moment.=(

Anyway,i love streetcafe - comfortable seatings,nice songs,warm greetings,creative design..

hehe..n today someone said that yellow suits me=)

Reborn?

Such a long time i abandoned this blog=x..

Totally cant believe that i'm a college student now!

At first,i really cant get used to the new life in college..i'm so stressed n depressed throughout the first few days until i lost some weights.Everyone around me are all strangers to me.so scared la.

I love my mentor alot.She is strict and professional but she makes me feel warm=)

'Surprisingly',i met some great buddies.Hui San is like a dai kar jie, Yun En is like a secretary,Guan Yi,Kar Yan-my boyfriend....Luckily they are from chinese schools which made me feel relieved.

Other than that,i had met someone who really looks familiar to me=)

Assignments,presentations,communication by using english...i know that i need to try my best to get used to it and make it even better.That's why i'm started to blog again although nobody will read it=)

Good luck my dear=)

逃脱

兴致勃勃地，我们搭巴士去了sunway。

沿路上，我们聊了很多，很搞笑的，很感性的。。

我喜欢与她聊天。正如她所说的，我们的话题很广，每次都有说不完的话。

无疑，自从认识了她，我的生活都改变了。

从以前不敢搭巴士的我，被她训练成没巴士不行的流浪者。

从以前没补习就乖乖回家的我，也变成到处乱晃的坏学生。

虽然如此，我的求学生涯也因此变得充满色彩，有意义。

“性感小野猫 府媚兔妹郎 豹纹露底裤 等待小野狼”

我们发明的。好像有点18xx。。没办法，有她在^^

好想告诉你,

朋友, 我不想失去你!

玩着玩着，

一些回忆也一幕幕的在我脑海中掠过。

同一辆巴士，同一张车票，同一句话，同一个积水处。

他说他最厉害跳水。

我没有，我没有在想你。

糟糕，我回不了我的轨道。

i hate u =(

心好酸，

是因为不服气？

还是心里还放不下？

没有你。的日子

早上一睁开眼，

又把眼睛合上，

我忘了你再也不会唤醒我，

我缺席了。

忙完事务后，

一个人走到kp,

一个人在麦当劳前晃，

一个人看手表，

一个人吃完一整碗tom yam,

一个人痴痴的等巴士，

才发现以前的我过于依赖你了。

少了你的陪伴，

我发现我比以前早睡了。

经过上次搭你的车后，

我发现你已完全习惯没有我的日子，

你的不耐烦使我不敢直视你，

只好盼望赶紧到达，但

我想请你把车速放慢，

因为你母亲也在车上

这是我的选择，我也没有后悔。

只是没料到曾经拥有的回忆也因此被遗忘。

em..我可以用之前美好的回忆换取我所失去的时间吗？

那又可以买回几小时的时间呢？

我希望是和我父母相处的时间。

没有你的日子，我会渐渐习惯的。

What's going on????

I'm not in a good mood today.I felt that i'm transparent.I really hate the feeling and just wished to squad in one of the classroom corner and sleep.I hate the moment that i really dont know what expression should i 'put' on my face.It's terrible!I hope that there is a rule that each of the student should wear a mask to school.1.can prevent the spreading of H1N1..2.nobody knows whether u are laughing or..dunno

I need FRESH AIR.

Luckily i met a fren..a fren who dont know her bm name..hehe..she is cute!

Orangutan

I found those pictures in the internet and they are cute!Unfortunately, workers on Indonesian palm oil plantations are killing endangered orangutans to stop them eating their seedlings.Why are them so cruel to kill those orangutans that predicted it will be extinct in 20 years?They need love and priorites from the people of the world.

Please learn to appreciate these animal to avoid them from being killed.They are innocent!

p/s:there is one more picture i found it really cute on the Form 5 Pendidikan Moral textbook page124.

Dad, i love u

Dear dad,

Happy father's day!For me, u are always the one who cares about me.My heart was warm when u asked about my hand,enough vitamins,eat more fruit...You are always the one who takes all the food for me although it is all on the table.In this special day, i wish to hug u tightly and kiss your cheek but i dont dare to do it..hehe..I hope that i'm still a 5 years old kid.Dad,i know that it is important to earn more money for our future.But a healthy body is even vital than that.Dont sigh again ya..i know that u can do it!

Arghh..

Today we(krs) juz tidy up our room becoz it is tooo messy till mr-cutie-rat lives inside there..omg..i felt that i'm useless..It was quite fun when all the juniors were helping,talking,playing,asking..

"Senior, when are we going to wash the tent?"

"Senior, we finished arranging the boots,any else to do?"

"Senior, it is raining now. Can we march in the rain?"

"Senior....

We tidy up the room for almost 5 hours.I'm quite(not quite actually)disappointed as the room was still untidy.I think that it is no point tidying up for so long when the result is totally unsatisfied.The amount of staff is too huge to fit in a small tiny pik chik room.erm..sad thing..

Anyway, i will try my best to make it better..erm maybe put some perfumes,add on the equipments,change the old box to the new one..arghh..dont know laa

A new day

I'm so happy that i could woke up on time this morning although i was damn tired.Luckily i had already packed my bag and all those books yesterday so i could just shower and went to school.The school is still the numb look except for the repainted lane on the road.

I met my frens and they seemed to be very excited.They laughed ALOT..but i like it=p..erm..don't know why Yan Che didn't attend today..The tables was covered with layers of dust including the desk.Thanks to Yit Hwa for helping me on wiping the chair..(not including the table and desk)=>

The results really shocked me although i did not really show the 'shocking' expression on my face.Some was good but some was totally beh kua..

I did not know why i just kept on thinking about my future today..about what subject am i going to study..colleges..even jobs..I hope that i can choose it myself according to my interest and the one that really suits me.

erm..tired today..

~Back To School~

Today is the last day relaxing and also the last day suffering in the house.I'm quite happy but worrying about the time to wake up tommorow.It's 6.30am..I tried it today but unfortunately i totally cant hear the alarm.Die.

The school is reopening tommorow and i havent prepare for that.erm..1.i havent wash my bag yet.2.my room is in a mess.3.i havent tell my mum that i failed my AM.

It's the time to meet my friends, teachers,homeworks,pressure..spm..

谎言

一个，两个，三个，四个。。。

当你说了一个谎言，

你会需要更多更多的谎言来圆你之前说的谎话

这是不争的事实。

但，

往往说谎的原因

是不想看见你知道真相后的沉默

尽管那是件再小不过的事情

这是逼不得已。

Interesting

It was a quite fun day 4 me after struggling during this BORING holiday.We(ling yeen,2 ping,alvin,jia yong) went to bt. tinggi jj for gathering..haha..actually i'm surprised that all of them came..and they are all NEIGHBOURS..wow

Finally,we decided to have our lunch at BBQ plaza.All of us were quiet and probably shy while eating but ended up with "quarreling"..kaka..em..we washed the pan with the lemons..=.=!!Most of them lie that they had to go home earlier(because of the bill)..hehe..

After lunch,'Pao Bing' was the another choice 4 us.We all became more+more fat after having the desserts.We were non-stop laughing there until the people around us kept looking at us..em..it's okay..

After few hours we lingered in the shopping complex, Ling and I went home by bus..erm..we cant found the bus stop and walked quite a long distance..damn tired..When i'm on the way back home,i knocked a uncle that sat beside me for almost 5 or 6 times!He said "椅子抓紧一点''in a unfriendly manner..omg..It's the bus driver's fault..

BorA-Bora island~

I found this particular island from the mail..it's awesome!!
Many activities are offered there such as:

• safari 4x4
• quad hiking
• water sports
• visit the lagoon jet skiing
• scuba diving
• parasailing
• fishing
• walking tour,etc..

Woo..i had falled in love with this island..it will be the first island i visit when i start earning money!

bora bora island...i'm coming!

HoliDays?

omg..i'm really feel bored being at home..this photo is abit scary actually..em..this is how i looked during this holidays..i'm just like a dead fish..

go shopping?no money no transport..

go camping?someone not allow me to go..

So..just stayed at home ALONE..nobody can chat wif me..this is the worst.. +everyday eat 'ta bao' food..my god..

But there are something good about holidays too..

-sleep earlier-

-wakes up late-

-tidy up my room-

That's ALL..