Conclusion of the week:
Bringing problems to bed is not healthy.
Today was really my bad day,
I heard something from my mum that i'm not really wana know.
mayb i just cant understand what's in her mind,
bt it's sad to know about the ugly truth.
haih, i'm so tired la.
i wana have a tight sleep. =(
♥
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Now i know wad's <3>stands for=)it's love!
In a relationship,
there's not supposed to be more than 3 person,
that's y it's <3>
aww.
Bending ur head to the left,
it's a love shape =D
aww aww.
I think i'm the last to know these wonderful ones.
Anyway, thanks Wayne!
=)
Wrong decision, Right inspiration=)
I made a wrong decision just now.
I should have followed my dad to the cinema instead of attending my mum's fren's party.
I sat there like a stone the whole night n went to the toilet very frequently.
But it's quite interesting to stare at those aunties and uncles while they're talking to my mum or enjoying their beer. They have amazing expression on their faces !=D
Sitting there, staring at a women who carries a baby boy, i started to think about my future.
Yep i had applied for the courses of early childhood development n planned to pursue my studies in Australia next year. This is a rush decision, from accounting to a totally different course. But i know this is a better choice at least because i dont really like accounting. I love children. I know i have no experience on how to take care of a baby or even know how to carry them. There's lots to learn and trust me, i'm wiling to learn n ready to learn too=) .
But life isn't a bed of roses, there's always unexpected challenges waiting me to overcome them.
I don't know who am i going to meet in the future,
I'm not sure whether i'm able to communicate with those locals or the children due to my language problem,
I don't know is my height suitable to teach those children, or my look? i don't look like a teacher=/
Will i be very lonely there? my heart's praying, no pls dont. =x
I'm really glad that my parents supported me all this while although they buried their love to their children deep in the heart without performing it. I really appreciate to have them in my life. ♥
It's time to sleep now. Wish the future bride tonight live happily ever after with her Fiancé=)
♥ ♥
回忆录
刚从派对回来，
在那我有了很多的感触。
不知道你有没有过这种感觉，
当回忆被掀开来，
里头装满自己不想回顾的过去，
也有不想回想的某个人，
那种心情的起伏。
跟某个人失去联络了，
突然听别人提起他的现状，
而且原来我们的距离不遥远，
比我想象的还要近很多。
虽然已经过去，
但那参杂着快乐与尴尬的回忆，
是不能轻易被抹去的。
好想有一天，
亲自问问你，
朋友，你还好吗？
我还蛮挂念你。
你是如何看待我们的过去呢?
就这样。
=)
思绪
人的思想可以很恐怖，你在想什么，没有人会知道。
这全靠自己的控制能力，自己平时储蓄的经验也可派上用场。
思想，可以是很负面的，也可以是超乎想象的，又或者是很情绪化的。
我觉得我自己的控制能力不是很好，也可用糟糕来形容，还在学习的过程中。
控制不了自己会想太多，而且大多是极负面，悲观的。
常会想别人或许跟我一样，还是本来就应该这样，那我的思想应该算是正常的。
但为何最终躲在自己思想圈套的还是我。
还是他们控制能力好，可掩饰心里的焦虑呢？
这个还需要仔细探讨，希望找到答案。
L-O-V-E
最近我觉得除了亲情与友情以外，
爱情这两个字眼似乎离我的生命越来越远了。
不是说一定要拥有，但已忘了其滋味。
有情人时，常会在想自己单身多好，
跟另一半吵架时，在想自己找来的麻烦，
都在想自己失去了好多属于自己的时间，
但仍珍惜有他陪伴的时光。
单身一人时，常会羡慕别人有个伴。
与朋友到一些特别的场所，会幻想带男朋友来得情景。
得空没事做时， 脑海转着能为另一半编制的惊喜。
但仍喜欢没被束缚的日子。
常在想，两者哪个好?
单身? 孤单了点。。
恋人? 问题的来源。。
最后关键在于是否遇见我要的他，
遇见了是否可接纳对方呢？
接纳了对方，是否能保证爱的素质呢?
想想，自己有单身一辈子的潜质，而且还蛮高一下咯。
Grown UPS!
Haha!
This is the definite response i think from everyone who watched this movie=D
It's a meaningful movie actually n i like the relationship between the 5 guys.
They are all so special individuals, have their own personality characteristic
( although most of them are weird),
Most of all,
they are SO funny=DD
Yea. It's me again.
But with a different mood.
Told u i have mood swings ryte? ;)
n maybe u r right,
that's what a typical teenage will encounter
=)
Have been reading the novel for the whole night yesterday
Felt a sense of satisfaction
Not sure whether it's because of the romantic scenery that struck me,
or just because i almost finish reading the novel.
'I wake every day knowing that i'm lucky to have married her.'
The author mentioned it in the acknowledgments.
That's quite meaningful to me as
even not many couples feel lucky to have each other nowadays
Tomorrow's maths exam
and i'm not in mood to study=)
maybe showering for half an hour may work?
=)
Shaping
Exam's coming. n y am i here?
To release some toxic here.
I think i'm a completely unhealthy person.
i usually stay late till midnight,
i usually eat whatever i want,
i usually lazy in taking out my lens,
i usually waste my time doing something else,
i usually feel depressed,
i usually think of something that dont make any sense,
i usually feel pain on my neck,
i usually feel like someone's is following me behind,
i usually have mood swings,
i usually feel bad about myself,
i usually type this kind of blog,
i usually i usually
Okay,
Back to exam.
Back to reality.
=)
这样的感觉
突然，
有种感觉突袭了我。
我不知它从何处，
也不知它为何来访，
我只知道它完全占据了我的思想。
寻找，
不停地思索这莫名地不安，
即使在人群中，
我也无法逃脱。
我发现自己地改变
但我不喜欢这样的我。
从来不喜欢孤单的我，
竟然独自逛了五个小时。
而我，
我真的不知道自己要的是什么。
连正在写这的心情，
也复杂得无法形容。
不是悲伤，
而是不安。
World of lies
i just came back from the workshop just now
n i'm kinda shock of what i had heard from there
n kind of depressed too
We are blind
have u ever think that our world is actually
controlled by someone or something evil?
believe it or not
yes. n they are IILUMINATI.
n most of the wealthy or successful people knows THEIR rules.
Coca-cola?Mc Donald?
or our favourite celebrities
Lady Gaga? Mariah Carey?or even Micheal Jackson?
My heart sank when i realised all of the ugly truth
really..
Cant imagine that they were tortured so badly
in order to be mind controlled
n now i finally know why there's always a kind of deep sadness in MJ eyes
What i really cant accept is that
they are brain washing our early generation
the song of Bunny?omg..that's creeping
the reversed song of Paparazzi is still running in my mind
please, please dont do that to us human being
i believe that our inner nature is good
so please dont try to pollute us
n leave us alone!
As u said,
we are the minority who realised the ugly truth
not only heard about but REALISED
although it's really not much that i can do
but,
at least i knew about it
i knew what's going on
n i choose to believe it
Thinking of there's a possibility that they will kill me
just because i mentioned IILUMINATI here
but i dont really care
as u said again,
evil will never beat down the angels
Anyway,
Caleb, really thanks for sharing to us=)
u let me know about the world that full of LIES.
it's time for us people to awake now.
猜猜
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有个朋友曾经告诉过我，
她认为喜欢单色的人，
思想会比喜欢多种颜色搭配一起的人来得复杂。
想了，我认同她的说法。
但应该不能反映在每一个人身上吧。
这样想法的来源，
我想是因为杂乱复杂的颜色给人一种不熟的感觉？
不熟 是指思想不成熟，没想太多的人。
当然，这只是我的猜测。
我开始想，
留长发的人 应该是缺乏安全感。
当不敢或不想面对他人时，
长发成了躲避的处所。
喜欢睡觉的人 应该是与世无争的人。
明知这会比别人浪费的时间来的多，
就是要沉睡在自己的世界里
才会感到满足。
喜欢看鬼戏的人 应该是比较独立的人。
害怕是人的本能，
但他们却能安抚心情并控制杂念，
应该算是有自制能力的人吧。
这只是猜测，事实上我也不知道。
Secret =l
This is a random post
some thoughts popped in my mind again
something interesting~=)
xoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Everyone have their own secret.
I wish that i can have the aladdin genie with me
helps to make my dreams come true
n this will be one of my secret
I wish that i can communicate with ghosts
n help them to pass messages to their family members
n this will be one of my secret
I wish that i am one of those who has magic power
n i can become invisible
(or have a pair of secret wings, but i have Acrophobia)
dreaming again.
=D
Realised .
Some thoughts are turning in my mind now.
Life incidents may help a person understand him/herself more .
I started to think that
sometimes i refused to admit even though it's my fault
Even to myself
i want to make myself feel better
or maybe avoid being guilty .
Different kinds of excuses appearing in my mind
n i just need to choose the one which sounds reasonable
to cover up the feelings of guilty to myself n others .
n in fact, i know i'm running away from these problems
n they will not be solved until i face them properly
n i'll have no improvement .
Only if i accept and able to dissolve it,
means without feeling uncomfortable when the problem being revealed again,
i'll live life without burdens of hiding my true feelings .
Being quite emo in these few weeks,
n i realised that some of my friends was also under pressure too
some of them because of exams
some of them dont know why they are so unlucky
some of them dont know which to decide n suits them more
some of them thinking why they are so careless
some of them want to have extra time
...
n i think i have something to worry about too now
i need to choose my study path before it's too late.
Accounting? or childhood development?
stable or risky?
employed or jobless.
Time to survey=)
1 August 2010
Happy Birthday=)
u 're 19 now,
n we're so lucky to have the chance to celebrate with u,
since u're going back to perth soon.
I can see happiness in mum's eyes,
n our dad's too^^
dad wakes up earlier
mum keeps asking where to celebrate
even my grandma called us to celebrate together
everyone is looking forward to it=)
Happy birthday kason!
Can i shout out how i feel now?
i need someone to talk to me now.
someone who able to calm me down,
someone who listen to me without biases,
just listen to me without complicated expressions,
"jkihsnjgisgib uhlkwougqj huwqjndljnq nuqhwudjmqdj iqw ohdql"
i'm started to talk to the air.
i'm acting so damn weird now.
??
Tonight, my heart told me that i had done a mistake in my life.
n it keeps yelling, jing nie, u stupid thing!
i found out that i always do things without thinking it's consequences.
not that i'm not thinking much, i think i'm thinking too much sometimes.
bt in return i embarrassed myself.
i knew that regret cant help on anything,
but help...
i'm drowning in the feeling of regretting..
my mind is turning n turning now.
i turned off all my lights to feel secured.
i hided inside the blanket to help me feels better.
i'm so weird.
Tiring
Exam exam exam.
Everyday exam..
It's challenging bt it's also tiring.
Tiring of studying hard in the midnight
Tiring of everyday's packed schedule
Tiring of doing never ending assignments
Tiring of facing the anxiety before the exam
Tiring of planning what to do for every second
Tiring of waking up so early in the morning
Tiring of finishing loads of trial papers
Tiring of sitting in the speeding bus
Tiring of finding my ID in my bag
Tiring of losing my pendrive before presentation
Tiring of deciding what to eat every afternoon
Tiring of tiring..
But i think i will miss these tiring moments when different things came to my life.
It's only one year n now left only about 3 months. Time flies.
Aww`
vandalism?
San drew this on me!
So neat=D
LOVE this damn much..
Those little lovies cut by Elie Bieber=)
p/s: life is so boring,
i think i need a change.
=]
flu, please go away=(
I realized about something yesterday,
something i thought i already gt used to it.
But when u told me about it,
i can feel that my heart was yelling.
These days i cant escape from questioning myself,
because i feel there's emptiness deep inside my heart.
n i think these feelings is only the 'emotional flu'
n i know i'll recover very soon.
=)
=]
aww..felt so sick these few days..help.
i hate holidays seriously. Especially those short holidays. After reading few novels written by different author, i'm more sure that everyone's cant escape from loneliness. n it depends on how deep that person thinks about the situation. The further u think, the lonelier u will felt. Sometimes i feel that everyone's around me is always happy and satisfied with their lives when me myself cant really even manage my own life properly.em. just feel like i'm wasting my time thinking all these that made me confused bt i cant control myself. =( hate myself for emo-ing.
Anyway, i'm quite happy that i found out someone who i really trust. At least for now.
=)
What a day.
It's midnight now.bt it seems like no difference to me. I felt like i'm a dead body without soul walking around in my house, walking around in my house where there's no laughter, no conversation, no feelings..Nothing is wrong with me,i'm just missing my mum n dad alot. It's kinda weird to tell that they just went travelling for a few days. I'm not saying that i'm those daddy's little gal who relies alot on them, to be honest, i'm actually quite happy at first when they left the house n left me 'guarding' our house. I mean i felt like i'm out of the cage..freedom..independent...or anything else.XD After they left,i'm planning what am i going to do but ended up doing nothing. Finally i knew what i'm going to do. I'm going to 'improve' my driving skills.
Sitting in front of the comp n rewinding what's happening the whole day. I had wasted half an hour figuring how to start the engine, how to adjust the gear, n thinking whether will the car slide down the hill when i released the break..n sth like that.. finally, i called a friend of mine to lend a hand. n luckily i did.
Everything happened today was not all smooth sailing. Due to my carelessness, i knocked on a small tree n almost reached ppl's gate. Not only that, i honked by others for about 5 or 6 times because i did not watch the cars before i cross the road. GOD.. sounds nothing but i'm shocked n frightened like hell. n my grandma wants me to fetch her tomorrow to Pizza Hut for dinner. Oh GOD,imagine that....=.=
Back to how much i miss my parents.If they're here, i may feel more relieved when i'm driving because at least someone is at home waiting for me. They must be worrying me now. I'm sure for that because my mum kept telling my dad that maybe she could gave up the trip during the few days before they left.LOL..
I miss them like hell even though they left for few days.now i'm thinking that what if i went to overseas for my study for several years? They must be very lonely as what i'm feeling now.
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