Yea. It's me again.

But with a different mood.

Told u i have mood swings ryte? ;)

n maybe u r right,

that's what a typical teenage will encounter

=)

Have been reading the novel for the whole night yesterday

Felt a sense of satisfaction

Not sure whether it's because of the romantic scenery that struck me,

or just because i almost finish reading the novel.

'I wake every day knowing that i'm lucky to have married her.'

The author mentioned it in the acknowledgments.

That's quite meaningful to me as

even not many couples feel lucky to have each other nowadays

Tomorrow's maths exam

and i'm not in mood to study=)

maybe showering for half an hour may work?

=)

Shaping

Exam's coming. n y am i here?

To release some toxic here.

I think i'm a completely unhealthy person.

i usually stay late till midnight,

i usually eat whatever i want,

i usually lazy in taking out my lens,

i usually waste my time doing something else,

i usually feel depressed,

i usually think of something that dont make any sense,

i usually feel pain on my neck,

i usually feel like someone's is following me behind,

i usually have mood swings,

i usually feel bad about myself,

i usually type this kind of blog,

i usually i usually

Okay,

Back to exam.

Back to reality.

=)

这样的感觉

突然，

有种感觉突袭了我。

我不知它从何处，

也不知它为何来访，

我只知道它完全占据了我的思想。

寻找，

不停地思索这莫名地不安，

即使在人群中，

我也无法逃脱。

我发现自己地改变

但我不喜欢这样的我。

从来不喜欢孤单的我，

竟然独自逛了五个小时。

而我，

我真的不知道自己要的是什么。

连正在写这的心情，

也复杂得无法形容。

不是悲伤，

而是不安。

It's question time!=D

Q: Can we see the moon at night when we are in an aeroplane?

Q: Countries such as Haiti which suffered from earthquake, will the country claim for the insurance they bought?

p/s: Can tell me if u know the ans? *curious*=)

我觉得我最近很像它。

World of lies

i just came back from the workshop just now

n i'm kinda shock of what i had heard from there

n kind of depressed too

We are blind

have u ever think that our world is actually

controlled by someone or something evil?

believe it or not

yes. n they are IILUMINATI.

n most of the wealthy or successful people knows THEIR rules.

Coca-cola?Mc Donald?

or our favourite celebrities

Lady Gaga? Mariah Carey?or even Micheal Jackson?

My heart sank when i realised all of the ugly truth

really..

Cant imagine that they were tortured so badly

in order to be mind controlled

n now i finally know why there's always a kind of deep sadness in MJ eyes

What i really cant accept is that

they are brain washing our early generation

the song of Bunny?omg..that's creeping

the reversed song of Paparazzi is still running in my mind

please, please dont do that to us human being

i believe that our inner nature is good

so please dont try to pollute us

n leave us alone!

As u said,

we are the minority who realised the ugly truth

not only heard about but REALISED

although it's really not much that i can do

but,

at least i knew about it

i knew what's going on

n i choose to believe it

Thinking of there's a possibility that they will kill me

just because i mentioned IILUMINATI here

but i dont really care

as u said again,

evil will never beat down the angels

Anyway,

Caleb, really thanks for sharing to us=)

u let me know about the world that full of LIES.

it's time for us people to awake now.

猜猜

有个朋友曾经告诉过我，

她认为喜欢单色的人，

思想会比喜欢多种颜色搭配一起的人来得复杂。

想了，我认同她的说法。

但应该不能反映在每一个人身上吧。

这样想法的来源，

我想是因为杂乱复杂的颜色给人一种不熟的感觉？

不熟 是指思想不成熟，没想太多的人。

当然，这只是我的猜测。

我开始想，

留长发的人 应该是缺乏安全感。

当不敢或不想面对他人时，

长发成了躲避的处所。

喜欢睡觉的人 应该是与世无争的人。

明知这会比别人浪费的时间来的多，

就是要沉睡在自己的世界里

才会感到满足。

喜欢看鬼戏的人 应该是比较独立的人。

害怕是人的本能，

但他们却能安抚心情并控制杂念，

应该算是有自制能力的人吧。

这只是猜测，事实上我也不知道。

Secret =l

This is a random post

some thoughts popped in my mind again

something interesting~=)

xoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Everyone have their own secret.

I wish that i can have the aladdin genie with me

helps to make my dreams come true

n this will be one of my secret

I wish that i can communicate with ghosts

n help them to pass messages to their family members

n this will be one of my secret

I wish that i am one of those who has magic power

n i can become invisible

(or have a pair of secret wings, but i have Acrophobia)

so that i can go everywhere i wanted to go

n this will be one of my secret

I wish that i'm a mind reader

so that i can know what others are thinking

coz guessing is kinda annoying

n this will be one of my secret

=)

secret secret secret

dreaming again.

=D

Realised .

Some thoughts are turning in my mind now.

Life incidents may help a person understand him/herself more .

I started to think that

sometimes i refused to admit even though it's my fault

Even to myself

i want to make myself feel better

or maybe avoid being guilty .

Different kinds of excuses appearing in my mind

n i just need to choose the one which sounds reasonable

to cover up the feelings of guilty to myself n others .

n in fact, i know i'm running away from these problems

n they will not be solved until i face them properly

n i'll have no improvement .

Only if i accept and able to dissolve it,

means without feeling uncomfortable when the problem being revealed again,

i'll live life without burdens of hiding my true feelings .

Being quite emo in these few weeks,

n i realised that some of my friends was also under pressure too

some of them because of exams

some of them dont know why they are so unlucky

some of them dont know which to decide n suits them more

some of them thinking why they are so careless

some of them want to have extra time

...

n i think i have something to worry about too now

i need to choose my study path before it's too late.

Accounting? or childhood development?

stable or risky?

employed or jobless.

Time to survey=)

1 August 2010

Happy Birthday=)

u 're 19 now,

n we're so lucky to have the chance to celebrate with u,

since u're going back to perth soon.

I can see happiness in mum's eyes,

n our dad's too^^

dad wakes up earlier

mum keeps asking where to celebrate

even my grandma called us to celebrate together

everyone is looking forward to it=)

Happy birthday kason!

Can i shout out how i feel now?

i need someone to talk to me now.

someone who able to calm me down,

someone who listen to me without biases,

just listen to me without complicated expressions,

"jkihsnjgisgib uhlkwougqj huwqjndljnq nuqhwudjmqdj iqw ohdql"

i'm started to talk to the air.

i'm acting so damn weird now.

??

Tonight, my heart told me that i had done a mistake in my life.

n it keeps yelling, jing nie, u stupid thing!

i found out that i always do things without thinking it's consequences.

not that i'm not thinking much, i think i'm thinking too much sometimes.

bt in return i embarrassed myself.

i knew that regret cant help on anything,

but help...

i'm drowning in the feeling of regretting..

my mind is turning n turning now.

i turned off all my lights to feel secured.

i hided inside the blanket to help me feels better.

i'm so weird.

Tiring

Exam exam exam.

Everyday exam..

It's challenging bt it's also tiring.

Tiring of studying hard in the midnight

Tiring of everyday's packed schedule

Tiring of doing never ending assignments

Tiring of facing the anxiety before the exam

Tiring of planning what to do for every second

Tiring of waking up so early in the morning

Tiring of finishing loads of trial papers

Tiring of sitting in the speeding bus

Tiring of finding my ID in my bag

Tiring of losing my pendrive before presentation

Tiring of deciding what to eat every afternoon

Tiring of tiring..

But i think i will miss these tiring moments when different things came to my life.

It's only one year n now left only about 3 months. Time flies.

As the conclusion of suffering from sickness these few days,

i have 95% confident to say that..

+

=

Sore throat,

fever,

and

maybe flu.

...Err, therefore this combination is completely unacceptable.

Beware of these food my friends..

Don't fall sick because of these delicious food!=D

Aww`

vandalism?

San drew this on me!

So neat=D

LOVE this damn much..

Those little lovies cut by Elie Bieber=)

p/s: life is so boring,

i think i need a change.

=]

' I had an X-ray done today,

and they found you in my heart

The doctor said if they took you out,

I would die,

because i could not live without you!!!

Give this heart<3

in 2010 n forever more. . . '

I received this msg today

they (the words) made me happy

How sweet=)

flu, please go away=(

I realized about something yesterday,

something i thought i already gt used to it.

But when u told me about it,

i can feel that my heart was yelling.

These days i cant escape from questioning myself,

because i feel there's emptiness deep inside my heart.

n i think these feelings is only the 'emotional flu'

n i know i'll recover very soon.

=)

who r u?

i'm a lost person

at least for now.

=]

aww..felt so sick these few days..help.

i hate holidays seriously. Especially those short holidays. After reading few novels written by different author, i'm more sure that everyone's cant escape from loneliness. n it depends on how deep that person thinks about the situation. The further u think, the lonelier u will felt. Sometimes i feel that everyone's around me is always happy and satisfied with their lives when me myself cant really even manage my own life properly.em. just feel like i'm wasting my time thinking all these that made me confused bt i cant control myself. =( hate myself for emo-ing.

Anyway, i'm quite happy that i found out someone who i really trust. At least for now.

=)

What a day.

It's midnight now.bt it seems like no difference to me. I felt like i'm a dead body without soul walking around in my house, walking around in my house where there's no laughter, no conversation, no feelings..Nothing is wrong with me,i'm just missing my mum n dad alot. It's kinda weird to tell that they just went travelling for a few days. I'm not saying that i'm those daddy's little gal who relies alot on them, to be honest, i'm actually quite happy at first when they left the house n left me 'guarding' our house. I mean i felt like i'm out of the cage..freedom..independent...or anything else.XD After they left,i'm planning what am i going to do but ended up doing nothing. Finally i knew what i'm going to do. I'm going to 'improve' my driving skills.

Sitting in front of the comp n rewinding what's happening the whole day. I had wasted half an hour figuring how to start the engine, how to adjust the gear, n thinking whether will the car slide down the hill when i released the break..n sth like that.. finally, i called a friend of mine to lend a hand. n luckily i did.

Everything happened today was not all smooth sailing. Due to my carelessness, i knocked on a small tree n almost reached ppl's gate. Not only that, i honked by others for about 5 or 6 times because i did not watch the cars before i cross the road. GOD.. sounds nothing but i'm shocked n frightened like hell. n my grandma wants me to fetch her tomorrow to Pizza Hut for dinner. Oh GOD,imagine that....=.=

Back to how much i miss my parents.If they're here, i may feel more relieved when i'm driving because at least someone is at home waiting for me. They must be worrying me now. I'm sure for that because my mum kept telling my dad that maybe she could gave up the trip during the few days before they left.LOL..

I miss them like hell even though they left for few days.now i'm thinking that what if i went to overseas for my study for several years? They must be very lonely as what i'm feeling now.

bye bi

10th of May. My fish was dead. It's like something missing in my life. Cant imagine that kind of shocked when i saw bi's whole body turned white, sank in the bottom of the water with it's eyes damaged. bi is like something meaningful to me n i hate myself from not trying my best to take care of it. sorry bi=(

bi, i'll miss u.

=D

=)

It's an unexpected result. I passed my driving test!=D i'm so thankful that i did not really panic in that situation. That kind of relieved when my car started to move n steadily cross down the hill can't be described through only words. LOL i cant hide my happiness n everyone was looking at me like i'm abit over-excited. As long as i passed it, i dont really care..hehe.

I heard a few of the stories from my instructor. There was an aunt who was really nervous when she was having her driving test and she knocked the kancil towards the bushes and the concrete block. The front of the kancil destroyed and the aunt was still suffering from trauma of driving car again. There's another lady who had her driving test and finally married with the tester who taught her. It was like a fairy tale since they were from different states.

There's alot that i've learnt through this driving experience. It's like sometimes it depends on one's luck although hard work is important as well.Anyway, just try not to give up easily as dreams normally are not that easy to achieve.=]

Melissa Hill - Please forgive me.

The kind of book that everyone can't put down. Pages after pages, i'm totally addicted to the storyline and the way the author expressing her feelings. There's 3 couples' love story being pictured romantically as well as toughness of friendship.

The main character- Leonie chose to leave everything behind and move to another country, starting a brand new life. She chose to run away from those problems she cant really faced, chose to run away from him whom she loved deeply. No doubt, for me she's brave but in the meantime she's a coward too. I think it's difficult for someone to move to another country ALONE which he/she was unfamiliar with it without any help or sth.

'Is it even too late to forgive and forget?' No, it's always never too late to forgive someone who sincerely admit n apologize for what they had done. Sincerity meant everything.

These were from my lovely dad.

I'm touched when he passed it to me n he don't really like strawberries

But he bought it just for me!=]

Although it's just some normal stuffs,

but it makes me feel sweet and warm deep in my heart

i'm being concerned,cared of, loved.

i'm touched when u waked up every early morning to fetch me there

i'm touched when u sent those newspaper to my room just to force me to read it

i'm touch when u suggested to watch a movie in the cinema with only ME n U

I'm touch when u looked nervous when u heard i'm injured on my knee

...

i love u, dad=)

Mixed feelings

yep..i'm here again.

It's like i will only think of this pity blog when i'm down or emo. I wonder what makes me feel sad in this moment apart from my poor class test n quiz results. In these few days, i found myself non-stop finding something no matter where am i and what i'm doing - targets, a friend, laughters n even myself. It's like i'm kinda lost n trying to adjust my life to the proper style.

What i noticed is that, there's sadness in that person's eyes. I try to figure it out but my mind is reminding me from not being over-concern. Yep, i know i cant do anything too. I think i should eliminate that person from my unconscious mind.=)

There's a movie i wished to watch since a long time- When in Rome . lol but i always don't have the time and chance to watch + can only watch at golden screen cinema=( . I think Yun En is more disappointed than i am. nvm we buy dvd n watch together bah!=D

Anyways, my driving test is around the corner but i'm not nervous actually.hehe. Just hope that i will pass it successfully although i know it's quite hard. I'm imagining my car sliding down from the hill.XD

Thoughts.

This week is the toughest week for me - insufficient sleep, tons of assignments, complicated feelings.. Everything is changing without notices n i'm totally not ready for that. Every night when i'm alone,

I used to think about what kind of stupid thing i had done these few days n i felt myself kinda foolish as well as silly.

I used to think the luck i'm having for the next day- whether it's as usual or bad.

I used to think about my future - am i able to find the right one to spend the rest of our lives.

I used to think that am i going to be a successful accountant/ auditor in the future - decide by how much money can i earned.

I used to check whether is he still there chatting using msn.

I used to think how great it is when i finish all of my assignments.

I used to check my daily horoscope to aware me from making mistakes the next day.

Here are just parts of my thoughts.lol.My brain can never stop thinking whenever i'm alone. That's not healthy i guess. just quite abnormal.=x

Empty heart

We broke up. I'm alone again. I saw tears in his eyes when we knew that we were going to leave each other. My heart was actually bleeding when he agreed with it. Hoping for a last hug or something else but he walked away without turning his back for a simple glance .n i told myself that finally i gave up n everything will still remain the same as the beginning. We were friends again.

Today was the second day we broke up. I cant really got used to it n i cant stop myself from looking at him far away. I knew it's abit stupid n dumb. erm..it will not last long i think. He will definitely leave us too. n maybe we will lost contact with each other in the future.

Anyway, at least i can concentrate more on my study. =]

but i miss him right now=(

leaving?

Accounting test for tomorrow=.= n i'm still here blogging.

Today was like everyone was telling me that they were leaving. n they, include someone that i really care of. em..actually i really hopes that he will not leave. but the thing is i don't want him to do sth that he don't like and said that it's all because of me. n actually it's not. Moreover, it's your future my dear..i cant stop u from deciding which road u wanted to choose.

quite sad right?not even 1 month, n we were hurting each other in this short period.

Anyway,let me revise for my accounting:

Duality concept refers to accountants see total assets equal to total equities. Total equities are refers to claimed on those assets by liabilities and owner equities....

confused

To be honest, i don't really know how long can i stand in this relationship. I'm already lost all my confidence n all i have to do is just make things not too complicated. Not to say that i'm afraid of rumors, i'm just wanted to try my very best before i give up. Everything is so different between u n me but i believed that that's not really a big problem. I always believed that everything will be okay when there is trust between us. but in fact, disappointment came again n again.

I'm just don't know what am i suppose to do when the one i supposed to trust or love made me felt so lost.

Anyway, i'm really happy when i received the drinks n choc. n it's from u!=))

Sad. My grandpa was in the hospital. and my grandma was crying all the way.

He fall down and knocked his head yesterday n was sent to the hospital by AMBULANCE.I'm so so shocked when i heard that.He was suffered from temporary memory loss when he woke up n what he said was awkward. He kept repeating what he had just said. n he was so weak.

For me,my grandpa was a very stern man. He was like someone who had the power to decide everything and most of his decision were right. He was someone who doesn't speak much and just listen to what other people thought n said. However, he was also a stubborn person too. He will do what he wanted to do although it was not suitable to his age. He likes to drive although he was quite old and he had many friends due to his friendliness. He was not a stingy person and likes social alot.

Because of that,i felt so sad when my first visit in the hospital. He looked so weak and i wished to hug him tightly. He was so sick.

Anyway, i knew that he will get well soon. He was a strong old man!=)