Maybe's

Hours n hours

2011-04-07T07:41:00.000-07:00

Burning midnight oil, trying my best to open my eyes for as long as possible.

Writing lesson plan for 1 month for 3 group of ages in one night is a real challenge to me. Too focus on it until my mind almost not functioning so i decided to blog.

A cup of honey lemon from my dad makes my heart melts. He's so proud of his own 'production' and cant wait for praises=)) dad u r so cute n sweet=)

Planning these lessons makes me think of terry soo again. There's once we were playing see-saw together and i was trying to make the see-saw goes higher. N he was like so angry,staring at me saying : 不.要.摇.酱.大.力,等.一.下.我.pei.掉! I was giggling there n he stared at me like i'm a bad teacher. Thinking of him really makes me smile from the bottom of my heart.=))

Anyway, hope i will be able to pass up on time tomorrow. Or else i'm going to act sick tomorrow.

Blue monday

2011-04-04T05:19:00.000-07:00

Another week begins, i arrived my workplace with my heavy mind.

It's heavy because there's too many things to really think about inside my small brain. N feels like it's leaking already.

I tried my best to continue my lessons till lunch time n i dragged myself to the canteen. Worse comes to worst, today's my turn to bath them. argh i dont have that strength already=(

And this last little boy came in to the bathroom. n he saw there's some scars on my leg while i was applying some shampoo over his head. n he told me: '老师，你的脚痛痛做么要帮我们洗澡？这边好像很痛叻.' and he tried to avoid my leg from getting wet. I felt like hugging him tightly at that moment n he reminds me of the pureness of a child. Somehow he made my feel secured to be there too. Thanks to this cute little kid, Terry Soo who loves mermaid, cinderella, pink n purple, flowers and ribbons.=)

hey dinner!

2011-04-03T05:08:00.000-07:00

Comes to sunday night, have to eat alone again.

Dad's too busy doing his own thing, mom's having dinner with her friends.

I rather eat alone if i have to join those aunties, probably i will be stoning there until they wanna leave the restaurant which is few HOURS later after we finished our food.

Friends? They have their own dinner night with their families.

Then this is when i think that having a boyfriend is essential.

I know that's bad. Bt at least there's someone who's there for me to contact whether he wanna join me 4 dinner or not without any special reason. And at least he's there.

Anyway, this is just my imagination=) i know involving in a relationship is not that simple as i wrote here. So that's no point rushing to get a boyfriend just to fill my loneliness.

So for tonight, i'm having deli wings, mushroom soup, coke and hawaiian pn pizza from pizza delivery. I think that's enough=).

April, April fool.

2011-04-02T20:51:00.000-07:00

I hope it's always just an april fool

during unpleasant moments in my life.

Early in the morning.

2011-04-02T19:04:00.000-07:00

What a early sunday morning=)

i cant get into sleep anymore since i wake up at 7 everyday. I'm wondering since when i became so healthy.

Lying on the bed waiting for the time to pass isnt easy actually. So i decided to read some blogs.

Then i realised i'm a self-centered person(short form-selfish).

All this while i didnt even try to check out how's my friend is doing over there or friends who are just around me. I would say i'm too busy bt this is just my excuse of being lazy to care about others. It's like i never appreciate things that i had in my life. I will only concern about their lives during my sad or emo moments, times which i need them the most. This is just betraying the true meaning of friendship. And i know it will not turn out well in the end.

I wouldn't promise i will be able to keep in touch with everyone of them everyday bt definitely i will make sure that there's still them in my heart n actions will be taken to make our friendships last longer and longer and longer.

After a drink=)

2011-04-02T10:53:00.000-07:00

Always have the feeling of blogging here after having a drink from starbucks:)

Yea such a long time this blog havent been updated,i'm too busy i guess or i dont even want to spare my time out for blogging nowadays.Btw there's something i just wanna express it out about my teaching life.

I'm working with children for about 2 months and i admit that i'm still enjoy teaching those kids:) It maybe quite tough to plan the lessons for different ages of kids and experiments need to be carried out again n again( in terms of the success way of teaching them so that they know what i want them to absorb) I know that attractive lessons are essential for them where they can release their energies by moving around but it acquires more preparation for me before every lessons. I admit that this is not easy for me to plan because they can get bored really easily. Their concentrations are low therefore i love to teach 5 years old rather than the younger ones like 3 or 4. I dont really enjoy teaching 6 yrs old because they are far too naughty n being soft to them dont seem to be effective. I hate shouting at them like a mad teacher and they dont know what the teacher's doing. Initially i thought teaching kids really tough job because the works are just too messy and i dont know what to start with. There's alot we need to teach them and the pressure from the parents is the part that i suffered. I think i'm just too young looking to tell their parents how their children behave or make them trust on me. And i cant focus on every child when i'm teaching so i started to feel terrified when their parents came to pick up their children. I think it will be worst when it comes to parent-teacher day:(

Anyway i will try to observe my children and i found that as the time passes, i really feel that that's a need to help those 'stubborn kids' to be well-behaved. It's a long process and it's not easy i know. Bt that's the reason why i'm teaching i guess. So hope there's some changes before n after i taught them the right way n i hope there's changes in me as well. I told them what's the do's and dont's n i need to make sure that i'm doing it as well. emm i hope i'm able to cope with those obstacles. god bless me pls:)

P/s: i know it's quite boring to read this so u can skip it if u want=) it's just sth that comes to my mind at this moment:)

很累了

2011-01-14T10:43:00.000-08:00

我不想入睡，

我不想一睡到天亮，

我不想明早睁开眼，

又要面对这一切。

我觉得全部事情，

到头来，

还是只剩自己独自来面对。

顺其自然么？

要熬过这段时期，

已是翩体灵伤了。

不，开，心

2011-01-14T09:15:00.000-08:00

你，

跟我过来，

跟我说说话，

我很想你在这里。

有时我就是想保持沉默，

有时我就是不想对着你假笑，

但事情不是那么简单的。

我没有很轻松的在做事情，

做什么事情都好，

我都是战战兢兢的，

深怕我做得不妥当。

我觉得我已经很努力了。

我已不是我了，

我走不出来，

我不想留在这里。

我好久没有真心的大笑了。

2010-12-05T03:20:00.001-08:00

=.=

where's my handphone???

变

2010-12-04T08:20:00.000-08:00

在不知情的情况下，

好多事情都变了。

至今才真正了解原来一切都很简单明白，

是我想的太梦幻了。

根本不管怎样，变了就是变了，

之前妄想的意义，只会让我觉得我很糟糕。

很想狠狠地巴你

你，

托慢了我生活的节奏。

太好了，你离我远远的。

找一天

2010-12-03T08:22:00.000-08:00

找一天，

一定要跟另一半，

不管一切地，

去追寻日落，

太阳的尽头，

彩虹的尽头。

一天痊愈的时间，够吗？

2010-11-30T02:31:00.000-08:00

从早上开始，

心情闷闷的，

不想跟任何人说话。

因为回忆里，

又多了一份不想回顾的记忆。

天气灰灰的，

好想现在是2012。

Let it out

2010-11-18T03:56:00.000-08:00

Just found out that i'm still the same

cried for silly things, but that's really sensitive to me.

Although i understand why, but i just cant accept it,

I'm sorry if i'm rude, i know this is not the way.

n know wad? i hate myself crying in front of you, it's awful.

thanks google, this is what i checked out:

How to stop yourself from crying:

1. Pinch yourself (Don't pinch so hard that you cry from the pain, though.)

2. Lift your head to the sky

3. Yawn

4. What sometimes helps is just closing your eyes

5. Swallow saliva

6. Turn on some nice music

They're useful. But i wonder how am i going to yawn when i'm crying?

Another one

2010-11-11T03:42:00.000-08:00

Kinda down these few days,

i know is emotional flu again.

Trying my best to avoid them

for worsening my day,

but they won at last.

I dont need a listener,

because i dont even know what to say

or what i feel, it's just that

i'm feeling down.

o.O

Craft? :)

2010-11-07T03:29:00.000-08:00

Too boring at home,

i found something interesting

to release STRESS!

Guess what can i do with this? :)

Teng Teng!=D

Gnie's bottle=)

I wonder who wana buy my ruler;P

♥

Hi, my love!:)

ya i love myself=)

Conclusion of the day:

holiday makes ppl insane

c me=)!

领悟

2010-11-05T09:06:00.000-07:00

我知道，

随着年龄的增长，

人生在不同阶段，

会有不同的领悟。

那在我这个阶段呢？

我不清楚，

只知道现在的我，

很想用力抓住每一份感动，

不想让身边的人

再从我生命中

溜走。

但往往真心想要珍惜的，

却最容易被唾弃，

与之擦肩而过。

等一个人咖啡

2010-11-05T00:41:00.000-07:00

昨夜一口气把它看完，

感觉很爽。

不错是不错，

但总觉得太梦幻了，

世上没那么多巧合吧。

但也很喜欢阿拓的朴实与那份热诚。

九把刀说，

玩过拼图的人都知道，

复杂的图形反而容易掌控，

因为每一块都那么奇异，

很快就能知晓它应放置的座标。

但越是简单的图形，

如蔚蓝的天空，茵茵绿地，

却最难拼成。

因每一片都太朴实，单纯，

许久都不会明白上一块跟下一块之间的关系。

还有跟自己的联系。

一开始就被这句话给吸引。

很想找回起初的自己，

我宁愿什么也不知道，不了解。

有些事情知道太多了，

往往会影响自己起初的决定，

也违背了自己的意愿，

这就是面具的由来。

谢谢委迎的这本书，

我好喜欢。=)

stupid exam :(

2010-11-01T04:46:00.000-07:00

ARGGHHHHHH!!!!!

MY ENGLISH EXAM !!

=((((((

Fear

2010-10-30T09:43:00.000-07:00

Ok, now i realised that i was stalking just now.

yea i'm a stalker , stalking for old relationship.

glad to see them live lives to the fullest, enjoying times together :)

But nothing seems to change here, i'm still the same ;)

but to be honest, there's some bitter feelings in me

even though i refused to admit that.

bitter as in feeling regretful =x

i know that's nothing to be sad or wondering why,

but i think it's just that i'm lonely sometimes,

just sometimes, luckily :)

Btw, wana share something i really think it's my biggest fear,

and sorry tummy,

i allowed too many butterflies in you.

Exam starts from tomorrow.

Bites

2010-10-24T09:58:00.000-07:00

a can of antioxidant lipton ice tea

My econs book

Four pair of Deli wings

A personal hawaiian pan pizza

Sounds not bad?

But it feels bad eating alone.

But once in a while is ok laa.

2.oo, am

2010-10-23T10:55:00.002-07:00

Jing Nie is still thinking what can she do now

besides than sleeping, studying and staring the bed.

*O.o*

1.oo, am

2010-10-23T09:43:00.000-07:00

I guess i started to miss my friends..

including the one i shouldnt miss.

Just came back from a wedding dinner,

i never like the environment during most of the wedding dinners

I thought the meanings are gone.

It's not just about wishing the newlywed,

but comparing among each other that makes me sick.

But overall tonight's dinner was okay, just abit boring.

There's some interesting conversation between me n chai ying,

hahaa so happy she called me just now.

At least we're still joint together=)

Next week is my study week.

telling myself not to waste this week again,

but study mood is still not on yet.

suddenly feel so upset of it.

Anyway, life is still beautiful to me=)

Sammi Cheng

2010-10-14T10:23:00.000-07:00

她很坚强, 好让人心疼。

我支持你!

so random

2010-10-14T10:09:00.000-07:00

Nothing special to mention or express here,

just thought of posting something here=)

Wana post something about my birthday,

bt is kind of lazy to upload those photos =X

Someday la, i will definitely post them on someday=)

It's quite late now,

bt the feeling of sleeping doesnt knock my mind

Feel like wana emo abit>.<

lol, i think i'm a bit psychotic liao X)

k la, so boring, very boring today, because i skipped my classes today.

n the weather was so hot these few days =.=

herrhaih..

**

2010-10-05T05:00:00.000-07:00

Complicated feelings!

Nothing hurts me but those mixed feelings keep disrupting me,

like i ate something tasteless yet some bitter.

Haih,why us human being need emotions, feelings and thoughts?

err, these make us unique..i know..

but these also complicate everything.

Anyway, pray for me for my final.

Pls ESL, pls dont dissapoint me=(

Gambateh la jing nie, i know u can do it..

:')

The letter

2010-10-04T05:13:00.000-07:00

I felt so guilty now.

The offer letter has arrived,

'Congratulations, I am pleased to offer you a place in the following course..'

Yea, very happy.

But the fees are 'awesome'

n it's in $AUD.

I feel like telling my parents,

sorry for not paying attention in class sometimes,

sorry for not really trying my very best in achieving colourful results,

sorry for being selfish all this while.

2010-10-04T04:06:00.000-07:00

What do u wish for if everyone owns a wish now?

I wish that everything will not change

from this moment.

I can be ur hero, baby

2010-10-02T07:12:00.000-07:00

Being abit notti just now..hehe, u know what i mean=D

Anyway, i love this song.

It triggers all my memories.

好静

2010-10-01T05:04:00.000-07:00

讨厌星期五的夜晚，

想找个人说话都没有。

星期五提醒了我，

原来我始终是一个人的。

或许我对寂寞的来临特别敏感吧。

既使在人潮中，

也抵挡不住寂寞的侵袭，

脑袋有说不清的疑惑。

但我知道，

其实我们都寂寞。

唉，我，

跟王力宏一样，

需要人陪。

唯一

2010-09-24T07:16:00.000-07:00

這樣的説法，不是不想給對方一個名分，

只是我覺得《情人》這個名詞非常脆弱。

對我來説，我會把對方當成是我的家人，

因爲只要把對方認爲是家人，

你就永遠不用害怕會失去對方，

當然對方也必須和你一樣的想法。

- 類似家人的情人 <无比> -

这篇文章让我有些感触。

对啊，

像家人一样的情人最好了。

既使打打闹闹，

那份关怀，

是不会像过气情人般

轻易被抹去的。

The joyous moment=D

2010-09-24T03:52:00.001-07:00

Yes!!!!
yes, exam is over =D
n yes again, final exam is coming=(
Everyone looked so happy after the exam,
especially the three of us,
v were laughing all the way to sunway,
n talking something funny yet not so funny but seems to be so funny at the time.
At the time, after the exam.
=D
Bthe way, i went home with my wet clothes n my broken 'shinny-wetty' shoes.
I met two helpful people who lend their hand to the elder ones
They're so attractive=)
okay, i'm so sleepy.
i think i can have my dinner with my eyes closed.
nite=)!

Crazy for econs, argh!

2010-09-20T09:51:00.001-07:00

arghhhhh
i'm drying for econs!!
my mind started to stuck now
i can see many mosquitoes flying in front of me
i doubt if they ever exist
help..
need to wake up early at 5am in the morning
i'm scared i cant recognise myself in the mirror tomorrow
Releases some blurness here will be better
i think so?
i hope tomorrow the econs paper will be burnt by someone, all of it..
yay, then everyone can just go back n sleep.
argh..bye bye, bye bye.

170910

2010-09-17T08:21:00.000-07:00

Conclusion of the week:
Bringing problems to bed is not healthy.
Today was really my bad day,
I heard something from my mum that i'm not really wana know.
mayb i just cant understand what's in her mind,
bt it's sad to know about the ugly truth.
haih, i'm so tired la.
i wana have a tight sleep. =(

♥

2010-09-11T21:01:00.001-07:00

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Now i know wad's <3>stands for=)

it's love!

In a relationship,

there's not supposed to be more than 3 person,

that's y it's <3>

aww.

Bending ur head to the left,

it's a love shape =D

aww aww.

I think i'm the last to know these wonderful ones.

Anyway, thanks Wayne!

Wrong decision, Right inspiration=)

2010-09-11T10:19:00.000-07:00

I made a wrong decision just now.

I should have followed my dad to the cinema instead of attending my mum's fren's party.

I sat there like a stone the whole night n went to the toilet very frequently.

But it's quite interesting to stare at those aunties and uncles while they're talking to my mum or enjoying their beer. They have amazing expression on their faces !=D

Sitting there, staring at a women who carries a baby boy, i started to think about my future.

Yep i had applied for the courses of early childhood development n planned to pursue my studies in Australia next year. This is a rush decision, from accounting to a totally different course. But i know this is a better choice at least because i dont really like accounting. I love children. I know i have no experience on how to take care of a baby or even know how to carry them. There's lots to learn and trust me, i'm wiling to learn n ready to learn too=) .

But life isn't a bed of roses, there's always unexpected challenges waiting me to overcome them.

I don't know who am i going to meet in the future,

I'm not sure whether i'm able to communicate with those locals or the children due to my language problem,

I don't know is my height suitable to teach those children, or my look? i don't look like a teacher=/

Will i be very lonely there? my heart's praying, no pls dont. =x

I'm really glad that my parents supported me all this while although they buried their love to their children deep in the heart without performing it. I really appreciate to have them in my life. ♥

It's time to sleep now. Wish the future bride tonight live happily ever after with her Fiancé=)

♥ ♥

回忆录

2010-09-10T07:21:00.000-07:00

刚从派对回来，

在那我有了很多的感触。

不知道你有没有过这种感觉，

当回忆被掀开来，

里头装满自己不想回顾的过去，

也有不想回想的某个人，

那种心情的起伏。

跟某个人失去联络了，

突然听别人提起他的现状，

而且原来我们的距离不遥远，

比我想象的还要近很多。

虽然已经过去，

但那参杂着快乐与尴尬的回忆，

是不能轻易被抹去的。

好想有一天，

亲自问问你，

朋友，你还好吗？

我还蛮挂念你。

你是如何看待我们的过去呢?

就这样。

思绪

2010-09-08T22:03:00.000-07:00

人的思想可以很恐怖，你在想什么，没有人会知道。

这全靠自己的控制能力，自己平时储蓄的经验也可派上用场。

思想，可以是很负面的，也可以是超乎想象的，又或者是很情绪化的。

我觉得我自己的控制能力不是很好，也可用糟糕来形容，还在学习的过程中。

控制不了自己会想太多，而且大多是极负面，悲观的。

常会想别人或许跟我一样，还是本来就应该这样，那我的思想应该算是正常的。

但为何最终躲在自己思想圈套的还是我。

还是他们控制能力好，可掩饰心里的焦虑呢？

这个还需要仔细探讨，希望找到答案。

电话记

2010-09-08T05:06:00.000-07:00

它出现了。

原来它一直在我身旁。

我妈 "帮" 我收着。

电话失踪了

2010-09-07T09:15:00.000-07:00

电话，你在哪里？

快出来，别吓我。

L-O-V-E

2010-09-07T07:11:00.000-07:00

最近我觉得除了亲情与友情以外，

爱情这两个字眼似乎离我的生命越来越远了。

不是说一定要拥有，但已忘了其滋味。

有情人时，常会在想自己单身多好，

跟另一半吵架时，在想自己找来的麻烦，

都在想自己失去了好多属于自己的时间，

但仍珍惜有他陪伴的时光。

单身一人时，常会羡慕别人有个伴。

与朋友到一些特别的场所，会幻想带男朋友来得情景。

得空没事做时，脑海转着能为另一半编制的惊喜。

但仍喜欢没被束缚的日子。

常在想，两者哪个好?

单身? 孤单了点。。

恋人? 问题的来源。。

最后关键在于是否遇见我要的他，

遇见了是否可接纳对方呢？

接纳了对方，是否能保证爱的素质呢?

想想，自己有单身一辈子的潜质，而且还蛮高一下咯。

Grown UPS!

2010-09-03T10:17:00.001-07:00

Haha!

This is the definite response i think from everyone who watched this movie=D

It's a meaningful movie actually n i like the relationship between the 5 guys.

They are all so special individuals, have their own personality characteristic

( although most of them are weird),

Most of all,

they are SO funny=DD

重来

2010-09-02T10:18:00.000-07:00

我好像又失去某样东西了，

而且是生命中珍藏的一部份。

就让他如此吧，

反正意义早已被带走了。

2010-08-29T05:23:00.001-07:00

Yea. It's me again.

But with a different mood.

Told u i have mood swings ryte? ;)

n maybe u r right,

that's what a typical teenage will encounter

Have been reading the novel for the whole night yesterday

Felt a sense of satisfaction

Not sure whether it's because of the romantic scenery that struck me,

or just because i almost finish reading the novel.

'I wake every day knowing that i'm lucky to have married her.'

The author mentioned it in the acknowledgments.

That's quite meaningful to me as

even not many couples feel lucky to have each other nowadays

Tomorrow's maths exam

and i'm not in mood to study=)

maybe showering for half an hour may work?

Shaping

2010-08-28T09:42:00.000-07:00

Exam's coming. n y am i here?

To release some toxic here.

I think i'm a completely unhealthy person.

i usually stay late till midnight,

i usually eat whatever i want,

i usually lazy in taking out my lens,

i usually waste my time doing something else,

i usually feel depressed,

i usually think of something that dont make any sense,

i usually feel pain on my neck,

i usually feel like someone's is following me behind,

i usually have mood swings,

i usually feel bad about myself,

i usually type this kind of blog,

i usually i usually

Okay,

Back to exam.

Back to reality.

这样的感觉

2010-08-28T08:51:00.000-07:00

突然，

有种感觉突袭了我。

我不知它从何处，

也不知它为何来访，

我只知道它完全占据了我的思想。

寻找，

不停地思索这莫名地不安，

即使在人群中，

我也无法逃脱。

我发现自己地改变

但我不喜欢这样的我。

从来不喜欢孤单的我，

竟然独自逛了五个小时。

而我，

我真的不知道自己要的是什么。

连正在写这的心情，

也复杂得无法形容。

不是悲伤，

而是不安。

2010-08-23T00:39:00.000-07:00

It's question time!=D

Q: Can we see the moon at night when we are in an aeroplane?

Q: Countries such as Haiti which suffered from earthquake, will the country claim for the insurance they bought?

p/s: Can tell me if u know the ans? *curious*=)

2010-08-17T06:00:00.000-07:00

我觉得我最近很像它。

World of lies

2010-08-15T05:37:00.000-07:00

i just came back from the workshop just now

n i'm kinda shock of what i had heard from there

n kind of depressed too

We are blind

have u ever think that our world is actually

controlled by someone or something evil?

believe it or not

yes. n they are IILUMINATI.

n most of the wealthy or successful people knows THEIR rules.

Coca-cola?Mc Donald?

or our favourite celebrities

Lady Gaga? Mariah Carey?or even Micheal Jackson?

My heart sank when i realised all of the ugly truth

really..

Cant imagine that they were tortured so badly

in order to be mind controlled

n now i finally know why there's always a kind of deep sadness in MJ eyes

What i really cant accept is that

they are brain washing our early generation

the song of Bunny?omg..that's creeping

the reversed song of Paparazzi is still running in my mind

please, please dont do that to us human being

i believe that our inner nature is good

so please dont try to pollute us

n leave us alone!

As u said,

we are the minority who realised the ugly truth

not only heard about but REALISED

although it's really not much that i can do

but,

at least i knew about it

i knew what's going on

n i choose to believe it

Thinking of there's a possibility that they will kill me

just because i mentioned IILUMINATI here

but i dont really care

as u said again,

evil will never beat down the angels

Anyway,

Caleb, really thanks for sharing to us=)

u let me know about the world that full of LIES.

it's time for us people to awake now.

猜猜

2010-08-14T22:51:00.000-07:00

有个朋友曾经告诉过我，

她认为喜欢单色的人，

思想会比喜欢多种颜色搭配一起的人来得复杂。

想了，我认同她的说法。

但应该不能反映在每一个人身上吧。

这样想法的来源，

我想是因为杂乱复杂的颜色给人一种不熟的感觉？

不熟是指思想不成熟，没想太多的人。

当然，这只是我的猜测。

我开始想，

留长发的人应该是缺乏安全感。

当不敢或不想面对他人时，

长发成了躲避的处所。

喜欢睡觉的人应该是与世无争的人。

明知这会比别人浪费的时间来的多，

就是要沉睡在自己的世界里

才会感到满足。

喜欢看鬼戏的人应该是比较独立的人。

害怕是人的本能，

但他们却能安抚心情并控制杂念，

应该算是有自制能力的人吧。

这只是猜测，事实上我也不知道。

Secret =l

2010-08-07T05:50:00.000-07:00

This is a random post

some thoughts popped in my mind again

something interesting~=)

xoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Everyone have their own secret.

I wish that i can have the aladdin genie with me

helps to make my dreams come true

n this will be one of my secret

I wish that i can communicate with ghosts

n help them to pass messages to their family members

n this will be one of my secret

I wish that i am one of those who has magic power

n i can become invisible

(or have a pair of secret wings, but i have Acrophobia)

so that i can go everywhere i wanted to go

n this will be one of my secret

I wish that i'm a mind reader

so that i can know what others are thinking

coz guessing is kinda annoying

n this will be one of my secret

secret secret secret

dreaming again.

Realised .

2010-08-06T05:45:00.000-07:00

Some thoughts are turning in my mind now.

Life incidents may help a person understand him/herself more .

I started to think that

sometimes i refused to admit even though it's my fault

Even to myself

i want to make myself feel better

or maybe avoid being guilty .

Different kinds of excuses appearing in my mind

n i just need to choose the one which sounds reasonable

to cover up the feelings of guilty to myself n others .

n in fact, i know i'm running away from these problems

n they will not be solved until i face them properly

n i'll have no improvement .

Only if i accept and able to dissolve it,

means without feeling uncomfortable when the problem being revealed again,

i'll live life without burdens of hiding my true feelings .

Being quite emo in these few weeks,

n i realised that some of my friends was also under pressure too

some of them because of exams

some of them dont know why they are so unlucky

some of them dont know which to decide n suits them more

some of them thinking why they are so careless

some of them want to have extra time

...

n i think i have something to worry about too now

i need to choose my study path before it's too late.

Accounting? or childhood development?

stable or risky?

employed or jobless.

Time to survey=)

1 August 2010

2010-07-31T18:09:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday=)

u 're 19 now,

n we're so lucky to have the chance to celebrate with u,

since u're going back to perth soon.

I can see happiness in mum's eyes,

n our dad's too^^

dad wakes up earlier

mum keeps asking where to celebrate

even my grandma called us to celebrate together

everyone is looking forward to it=)

Happy birthday kason!

2010-07-31T08:54:00.000-07:00

Can i shout out how i feel now?

i need someone to talk to me now.

someone who able to calm me down,

someone who listen to me without biases,

just listen to me without complicated expressions,

"jkihsnjgisgib uhlkwougqj huwqjndljnq nuqhwudjmqdj iqw ohdql"

i'm started to talk to the air.

i'm acting so damn weird now.

??

2010-07-31T07:51:00.000-07:00

Tonight, my heart told me that i had done a mistake in my life.

n it keeps yelling, jing nie, u stupid thing!

i found out that i always do things without thinking it's consequences.

not that i'm not thinking much, i think i'm thinking too much sometimes.

bt in return i embarrassed myself.

i knew that regret cant help on anything,

but help...

i'm drowning in the feeling of regretting..

my mind is turning n turning now.

i turned off all my lights to feel secured.

i hided inside the blanket to help me feels better.

i'm so weird.

Tiring

2010-07-26T06:38:00.000-07:00

Exam exam exam.

Everyday exam..

It's challenging bt it's also tiring.

Tiring of studying hard in the midnight

Tiring of everyday's packed schedule

Tiring of doing never ending assignments

Tiring of facing the anxiety before the exam

Tiring of planning what to do for every second

Tiring of waking up so early in the morning

Tiring of finishing loads of trial papers

Tiring of sitting in the speeding bus

Tiring of finding my ID in my bag

Tiring of losing my pendrive before presentation

Tiring of deciding what to eat every afternoon

Tiring of tiring..

But i think i will miss these tiring moments when different things came to my life.

It's only one year n now left only about 3 months. Time flies.

2010-07-22T07:31:00.000-07:00

As the conclusion of suffering from sickness these few days,

i have 95% confident to say that..

Sore throat,

fever,

and

maybe flu.

...Err, therefore this combination is completely unacceptable.

Beware of these food my friends..

Don't fall sick because of these delicious food!=D

Aww`

2010-07-22T03:45:00.000-07:00

vandalism?

San drew this on me!

So neat=D

LOVE this damn much..

Those little lovies cut by Elie Bieber=)

p/s: life is so boring,

i think i need a change.

2010-07-19T05:28:00.000-07:00

' I had an X-ray done today,

and they found you in my heart

The doctor said if they took you out,

I would die,

because i could not live without you!!!

Give this heart<3

in 2010 n forever more. . . '

I received this msg today

they (the words) made me happy

How sweet=)

flu, please go away=(

2010-07-16T06:54:00.000-07:00

I realized about something yesterday,

something i thought i already gt used to it.

But when u told me about it,

i can feel that my heart was yelling.

These days i cant escape from questioning myself,

because i feel there's emptiness deep inside my heart.

n i think these feelings is only the 'emotional flu'

n i know i'll recover very soon.

2010-07-15T08:34:00.000-07:00

who r u?

i'm a lost person

at least for now.

=]

2010-06-07T04:30:00.000-07:00

aww..felt so sick these few days..help.

i hate holidays seriously. Especially those short holidays. After reading few novels written by different author, i'm more sure that everyone's cant escape from loneliness. n it depends on how deep that person thinks about the situation. The further u think, the lonelier u will felt. Sometimes i feel that everyone's around me is always happy and satisfied with their lives when me myself cant really even manage my own life properly.em. just feel like i'm wasting my time thinking all these that made me confused bt i cant control myself. =( hate myself for emo-ing.

Anyway, i'm quite happy that i found out someone who i really trust. At least for now.

What a day.

2010-06-03T10:07:00.000-07:00

It's midnight now.bt it seems like no difference to me. I felt like i'm a dead body without soul walking around in my house, walking around in my house where there's no laughter, no conversation, no feelings..Nothing is wrong with me,i'm just missing my mum n dad alot. It's kinda weird to tell that they just went travelling for a few days. I'm not saying that i'm those daddy's little gal who relies alot on them, to be honest, i'm actually quite happy at first when they left the house n left me 'guarding' our house. I mean i felt like i'm out of the cage..freedom..independent...or anything else.XD After they left,i'm planning what am i going to do but ended up doing nothing. Finally i knew what i'm going to do. I'm going to 'improve' my driving skills.

Sitting in front of the comp n rewinding what's happening the whole day. I had wasted half an hour figuring how to start the engine, how to adjust the gear, n thinking whether will the car slide down the hill when i released the break..n sth like that.. finally, i called a friend of mine to lend a hand. n luckily i did.

Everything happened today was not all smooth sailing. Due to my carelessness, i knocked on a small tree n almost reached ppl's gate. Not only that, i honked by others for about 5 or 6 times because i did not watch the cars before i cross the road. GOD.. sounds nothing but i'm shocked n frightened like hell. n my grandma wants me to fetch her tomorrow to Pizza Hut for dinner. Oh GOD,imagine that....=.=

Back to how much i miss my parents.If they're here, i may feel more relieved when i'm driving because at least someone is at home waiting for me. They must be worrying me now. I'm sure for that because my mum kept telling my dad that maybe she could gave up the trip during the few days before they left.LOL..

I miss them like hell even though they left for few days.now i'm thinking that what if i went to overseas for my study for several years? They must be very lonely as what i'm feeling now.

bye bi

2010-05-10T06:21:00.000-07:00

10th of May. My fish was dead. It's like something missing in my life. Cant imagine that kind of shocked when i saw bi's whole body turned white, sank in the bottom of the water with it's eyes damaged. bi is like something meaningful to me n i hate myself from not trying my best to take care of it. sorry bi=(

bi, i'll miss u.

=D

2010-05-02T22:45:00.000-07:00

It's an unexpected result. I passed my driving test!=D i'm so thankful that i did not really panic in that situation. That kind of relieved when my car started to move n steadily cross down the hill can't be described through only words. LOL i cant hide my happiness n everyone was looking at me like i'm abit over-excited. As long as i passed it, i dont really care..hehe.

I heard a few of the stories from my instructor. There was an aunt who was really nervous when she was having her driving test and she knocked the kancil towards the bushes and the concrete block. The front of the kancil destroyed and the aunt was still suffering from trauma of driving car again. There's another lady who had her driving test and finally married with the tester who taught her. It was like a fairy tale since they were from different states.

There's alot that i've learnt through this driving experience. It's like sometimes it depends on one's luck although hard work is important as well.Anyway, just try not to give up easily as dreams normally are not that easy to achieve.=]

2010-05-02T07:22:00.000-07:00

Melissa Hill - Please forgive me.

The kind of book that everyone can't put down. Pages after pages, i'm totally addicted to the storyline and the way the author expressing her feelings. There's 3 couples' love story being pictured romantically as well as toughness of friendship.

The main character- Leonie chose to leave everything behind and move to another country, starting a brand new life. She chose to run away from those problems she cant really faced, chose to run away from him whom she loved deeply. No doubt, for me she's brave but in the meantime she's a coward too. I think it's difficult for someone to move to another country ALONE which he/she was unfamiliar with it without any help or sth.

'Is it even too late to forgive and forget?' No, it's always never too late to forgive someone who sincerely admit n apologize for what they had done. Sincerity meant everything.

2010-05-01T09:06:00.000-07:00

These were from my lovely dad.

I'm touched when he passed it to me n he don't really like strawberries

But he bought it just for me!=]

Although it's just some normal stuffs,

but it makes me feel sweet and warm deep in my heart

i'm being concerned,cared of, loved.

i'm touched when u waked up every early morning to fetch me there

i'm touched when u sent those newspaper to my room just to force me to read it

i'm touch when u suggested to watch a movie in the cinema with only ME n U

I'm touch when u looked nervous when u heard i'm injured on my knee

...

i love u, dad=)

Mixed feelings

2010-04-30T05:51:00.000-07:00

yep..i'm here again.

It's like i will only think of this pity blog when i'm down or emo. I wonder what makes me feel sad in this moment apart from my poor class test n quiz results. In these few days, i found myself non-stop finding something no matter where am i and what i'm doing - targets, a friend, laughters n even myself. It's like i'm kinda lost n trying to adjust my life to the proper style.

What i noticed is that, there's sadness in that person's eyes. I try to figure it out but my mind is reminding me from not being over-concern. Yep, i know i cant do anything too. I think i should eliminate that person from my unconscious mind.=)

There's a movie i wished to watch since a long time- When in Rome . lol but i always don't have the time and chance to watch + can only watch at golden screen cinema=( . I think Yun En is more disappointed than i am. nvm we buy dvd n watch together bah!=D

Anyways, my driving test is around the corner but i'm not nervous actually.hehe. Just hope that i will pass it successfully although i know it's quite hard. I'm imagining my car sliding down from the hill.XD

Thoughts.

2010-04-09T06:22:00.000-07:00

This week is the toughest week for me - insufficient sleep, tons of assignments, complicated feelings.. Everything is changing without notices n i'm totally not ready for that. Every night when i'm alone,

I used to think about what kind of stupid thing i had done these few days n i felt myself kinda foolish as well as silly.

I used to think the luck i'm having for the next day- whether it's as usual or bad.

I used to think about my future - am i able to find the right one to spend the rest of our lives.

I used to think that am i going to be a successful accountant/ auditor in the future - decide by how much money can i earned.

I used to check whether is he still there chatting using msn.

I used to think how great it is when i finish all of my assignments.

I used to check my daily horoscope to aware me from making mistakes the next day.

Here are just parts of my thoughts.lol.My brain can never stop thinking whenever i'm alone. That's not healthy i guess. just quite abnormal.=x

Empty heart

2010-03-10T03:56:00.000-08:00

We broke up. I'm alone again. I saw tears in his eyes when we knew that we were going to leave each other. My heart was actually bleeding when he agreed with it. Hoping for a last hug or something else but he walked away without turning his back for a simple glance .n i told myself that finally i gave up n everything will still remain the same as the beginning. We were friends again.

Today was the second day we broke up. I cant really got used to it n i cant stop myself from looking at him far away. I knew it's abit stupid n dumb. erm..it will not last long i think. He will definitely leave us too. n maybe we will lost contact with each other in the future.

Anyway, at least i can concentrate more on my study. =]

but i miss him right now=(

leaving?

2010-03-08T08:09:00.000-08:00

Accounting test for tomorrow=.= n i'm still here blogging.

Today was like everyone was telling me that they were leaving. n they, include someone that i really care of. em..actually i really hopes that he will not leave. but the thing is i don't want him to do sth that he don't like and said that it's all because of me. n actually it's not. Moreover, it's your future my dear..i cant stop u from deciding which road u wanted to choose.

quite sad right?not even 1 month, n we were hurting each other in this short period.

Anyway,let me revise for my accounting:

Duality concept refers to accountants see total assets equal to total equities. Total equities are refers to claimed on those assets by liabilities and owner equities....

confused

2010-03-07T03:41:00.000-08:00

To be honest, i don't really know how long can i stand in this relationship. I'm already lost all my confidence n all i have to do is just make things not too complicated. Not to say that i'm afraid of rumors, i'm just wanted to try my very best before i give up. Everything is so different between u n me but i believed that that's not really a big problem. I always believed that everything will be okay when there is trust between us. but in fact, disappointment came again n again.

I'm just don't know what am i suppose to do when the one i supposed to trust or love made me felt so lost.

Anyway, i'm really happy when i received the drinks n choc. n it's from u!=))

2010-03-04T05:53:00.000-08:00

Sad. My grandpa was in the hospital. and my grandma was crying all the way.

He fall down and knocked his head yesterday n was sent to the hospital by AMBULANCE.I'm so so shocked when i heard that.He was suffered from temporary memory loss when he woke up n what he said was awkward. He kept repeating what he had just said. n he was so weak.

For me,my grandpa was a very stern man. He was like someone who had the power to decide everything and most of his decision were right. He was someone who doesn't speak much and just listen to what other people thought n said. However, he was also a stubborn person too. He will do what he wanted to do although it was not suitable to his age. He likes to drive although he was quite old and he had many friends due to his friendliness. He was not a stingy person and likes social alot.

Because of that,i felt so sad when my first visit in the hospital. He looked so weak and i wished to hug him tightly. He was so sick.

Anyway, i knew that he will get well soon. He was a strong old man!=)

two is better than one?

2010-02-25T05:27:00.000-08:00

I can't regret for what i've done and i knew that i've to take the responsibility of making that decision.but y am i keep asking myself whether am i doing the right thing or not? No doubt,everything has changed and has to be changed to suit the life of two of us.but is it the right choice to change?

You made me think a lot these few days.about my future,my family members,my relatives,my friends,my study,even my neighbours..and i'm forcing myself not to think more about those stuffs to avoid my brain from bursting.Honestly,i can't really afford all of these.

You are almost perfect to me actually,sometimes make me feel that i'm not your type or i'm totally not suitable to be your gal.You have special personalities that i think i can spend my whole life to figure out and ready to learn from u.n i promised that i will try my very best to be part of your life.
=)yea..i think that two is better than one.at least we can have someone to rely on,to think about,to share our secrets,to face challenges together,..

2010-02-05T04:26:00.000-08:00

-hehe..yun en looked so suffered to take photo with kar wea-XD

I hate the weather of these few days! raining heavily this morning ,so hot in the afternoon, then raining heavily in the evening again=.=

n today was the first time that i missed the bus=(

Nothing special happened today except for that 'exciting' breaktime.We were having lunch at streetcafe after class and something happened there.My friend looked so upset and so sorry that i cant help anything just because i dont know what am i suppose to do in that moment.=(

Anyway,i love streetcafe - comfortable seatings,nice songs,warm greetings,creative design..

hehe..n today someone said that yellow suits me=)

Reborn?

2010-02-03T01:30:00.000-08:00

Such a long time i abandoned this blog=x..

Totally cant believe that i'm a college student now!

At first,i really cant get used to the new life in college..i'm so stressed n depressed throughout the first few days until i lost some weights.Everyone around me are all strangers to me.so scared la.

I love my mentor alot.She is strict and professional but she makes me feel warm=)

'Surprisingly',i met some great buddies.Hui San is like a dai kar jie, Yun En is like a secretary,Guan Yi,Kar Yan-my boyfriend....Luckily they are from chinese schools which made me feel relieved.

Other than that,i had met someone who really looks familiar to me=)

Assignments,presentations,communication by using english...i know that i need to try my best to get used to it and make it even better.That's why i'm started to blog again although nobody will read it=)

Good luck my dear=)

逃脱

2009-10-31T04:33:00.000-07:00

兴致勃勃地，我们搭巴士去了sunway。

沿路上，我们聊了很多，很搞笑的，很感性的。。

我喜欢与她聊天。正如她所说的，我们的话题很广，每次都有说不完的话。

无疑，自从认识了她，我的生活都改变了。

从以前不敢搭巴士的我，被她训练成没巴士不行的流浪者。

从以前没补习就乖乖回家的我，也变成到处乱晃的坏学生。

虽然如此，我的求学生涯也因此变得充满色彩，有意义。

“性感小野猫府媚兔妹郎豹纹露底裤等待小野狼”

我们发明的。好像有点18xx。。没办法，有她在^^

好想告诉你,

朋友, 我不想失去你!

玩着玩着，

一些回忆也一幕幕的在我脑海中掠过。

同一辆巴士，同一张车票，同一句话，同一个积水处。

他说他最厉害跳水。

我没有，我没有在想你。

糟糕，我回不了我的轨道。

i hate u =(

2009-10-30T08:33:00.000-07:00

心好酸，

是因为不服气？

还是心里还放不下？

没有你。的日子

2009-10-30T05:41:00.000-07:00

早上一睁开眼，

又把眼睛合上，

我忘了你再也不会唤醒我，

我缺席了。

忙完事务后，

一个人走到kp,

一个人在麦当劳前晃，

一个人看手表，

一个人吃完一整碗tom yam,

一个人痴痴的等巴士，

才发现以前的我过于依赖你了。

少了你的陪伴，

我发现我比以前早睡了。

经过上次搭你的车后，

我发现你已完全习惯没有我的日子，

你的不耐烦使我不敢直视你，

只好盼望赶紧到达，但

我想请你把车速放慢，

因为你母亲也在车上

这是我的选择，我也没有后悔。

只是没料到曾经拥有的回忆也因此被遗忘。

em..我可以用之前美好的回忆换取我所失去的时间吗？

那又可以买回几小时的时间呢？

我希望是和我父母相处的时间。

没有你的日子，我会渐渐习惯的。

What's going on????

2009-07-01T04:54:00.000-07:00

I'm not in a good mood today.I felt that i'm transparent.I really hate the feeling and just wished to squad in one of the classroom corner and sleep.I hate the moment that i really dont know what expression should i 'put' on my face.It's terrible!I hope that there is a rule that each of the student should wear a mask to school.1.can prevent the spreading of H1N1..2.nobody knows whether u are laughing or..dunno

I need FRESH AIR.

Luckily i met a fren..a fren who dont know her bm name..hehe..she is cute!

Orangutan

2009-06-23T07:41:00.000-07:00

I found those pictures in the internet and they are cute!Unfortunately, workers on Indonesian palm oil plantations are killing endangered orangutans to stop them eating their seedlings.Why are them so cruel to kill those orangutans that predicted it will be extinct in 20 years?They need love and priorites from the people of the world.

Please learn to appreciate these animal to avoid them from being killed.They are innocent!

p/s:there is one more picture i found it really cute on the Form 5 Pendidikan Moral textbook page124.

Dad, i love u

2009-06-21T07:07:00.000-07:00

Dear dad,

Happy father's day!For me, u are always the one who cares about me.My heart was warm when u asked about my hand,enough vitamins,eat more fruit...You are always the one who takes all the food for me although it is all on the table.In this special day, i wish to hug u tightly and kiss your cheek but i dont dare to do it..hehe..I hope that i'm still a 5 years old kid.Dad,i know that it is important to earn more money for our future.But a healthy body is even vital than that.Dont sigh again ya..i know that u can do it!

Arghh..

2009-06-21T06:40:00.000-07:00

Today we(krs) juz tidy up our room becoz it is tooo messy till mr-cutie-rat lives inside there..omg..i felt that i'm useless..It was quite fun when all the juniors were helping,talking,playing,asking..

"Senior, when are we going to wash the tent?"

"Senior, we finished arranging the boots,any else to do?"

"Senior, it is raining now. Can we march in the rain?"

"Senior....

We tidy up the room for almost 5 hours.I'm quite(not quite actually)disappointed as the room was still untidy.I think that it is no point tidying up for so long when the result is totally unsatisfied.The amount of staff is too huge to fit in a small tiny pik chik room.erm..sad thing..

Anyway, i will try my best to make it better..erm maybe put some perfumes,add on the equipments,change the old box to the new one..arghh..dont know laa

A new day

2009-06-15T07:30:00.000-07:00

I'm so happy that i could woke up on time this morning although i was damn tired.Luckily i had already packed my bag and all those books yesterday so i could just shower and went to school.The school is still the numb look except for the repainted lane on the road.

I met my frens and they seemed to be very excited.They laughed ALOT..but i like it=p..erm..don't know why Yan Che didn't attend today..The tables was covered with layers of dust including the desk.Thanks to Yit Hwa for helping me on wiping the chair..(not including the table and desk)=>

The results really shocked me although i did not really show the 'shocking' expression on my face.Some was good but some was totally beh kua..

I did not know why i just kept on thinking about my future today..about what subject am i going to study..colleges..even jobs..I hope that i can choose it myself according to my interest and the one that really suits me.

erm..tired today..

~Back To School~

2009-06-13T22:00:00.000-07:00

Today is the last day relaxing and also the last day suffering in the house.I'm quite happy but worrying about the time to wake up tommorow.It's 6.30am..I tried it today but unfortunately i totally cant hear the alarm.Die.

The school is reopening tommorow and i havent prepare for that.erm..1.i havent wash my bag yet.2.my room is in a mess.3.i havent tell my mum that i failed my AM.

It's the time to meet my friends, teachers,homeworks,pressure..spm..

谎言

2009-06-12T06:21:00.000-07:00

一个，两个，三个，四个。。。

当你说了一个谎言，

你会需要更多更多的谎言来圆你之前说的谎话

这是不争的事实。

但，

往往说谎的原因

是不想看见你知道真相后的沉默

尽管那是件再小不过的事情

这是逼不得已。

Interesting

2009-06-10T05:21:00.000-07:00

It was a quite fun day 4 me after struggling during this BORING holiday.We(ling yeen,2 ping,alvin,jia yong) went to bt. tinggi jj for gathering..haha..actually i'm surprised that all of them came..and they are all NEIGHBOURS..wow

Finally,we decided to have our lunch at BBQ plaza.All of us were quiet and probably shy while eating but ended up with "quarreling"..kaka..em..we washed the pan with the lemons..=.=!!Most of them lie that they had to go home earlier(because of the bill)..hehe..

After lunch,'Pao Bing' was the another choice 4 us.We all became more+more fat after having the desserts.We were non-stop laughing there until the people around us kept looking at us..em..it's okay..

After few hours we lingered in the shopping complex, Ling and I went home by bus..erm..we cant found the bus stop and walked quite a long distance..damn tired..When i'm on the way back home,i knocked a uncle that sat beside me for almost 5 or 6 times!He said "椅子抓紧一点''in a unfriendly manner..omg..It's the bus driver's fault..

BorA-Bora island~

2009-06-07T01:39:00.000-07:00

I found this particular island from the mail..it's awesome!!
Many activities are offered there such as:

safari 4x4
quad hiking
water sports
visit the lagoon jet skiing
scuba diving
parasailing
fishing
walking tour,etc..

Woo..i had falled in love with this island..it will be the first island i visit when i start earning money!

bora bora island...i'm coming!

HoliDays?

2009-06-06T22:26:00.000-07:00

omg..i'm really feel bored being at home..this photo is abit scary actually..em..this is how i looked during this holidays..i'm just like a dead fish..

go shopping?no money no transport..

go camping?someone not allow me to go..

So..just stayed at home ALONE..nobody can chat wif me..this is the worst.. +everyday eat 'ta bao' food..my god..

But there are something good about holidays too..

-sleep earlier-

-wakes up late-

-tidy up my room-

That's ALL..

Maybe's

Hours n hours

Blue monday

hey dinner!

April, April fool.

Early in the morning.

After a drink=)

很累了

不 ，开 ，心

变

找一天

一天痊愈的时间，够吗？

Let it out

Another one

Craft? :)

♥

领悟

等一个人咖啡

stupid exam :(

Fear

Bites

2.oo, am

1.oo, am

Sammi Cheng

so random

**

The letter

I can be ur hero, baby

好静

唯一

The joyous moment=D

Crazy for econs, argh!

170910

♥

Wrong decision, Right inspiration=)

回忆录

思绪

电话记

电话失踪了

L-O-V-E

Grown UPS!

重来

Shaping

这样的感觉

World of lies

猜猜

Secret =l

Realised .

1 August 2010

??

Tiring

Aww`

flu, please go away=(

=]

What a day.

bye bi

=D

Mixed feelings

Thoughts.

Empty heart

leaving?

confused

two is better than one?

Reborn?

逃脱

i hate u =(

没有你。的日子

What's going on????

Orangutan

Dad, i love u

Arghh..

A new day

~Back To School~

谎言

Interesting

BorA-Bora island~

HoliDays?

不，开，心